Straya

[Older poem about the continent I live on. ‘Straya’ is a common Australian pronunciation of ‘Australia’, ‘Toowoomba’ is a town in Queensland, a ‘lamington’ is a small Australian cake, ‘Portaloos’ are plastic portable toilets used at events or construction sites, to ‘chunder’ is to vomit. Dr Johnson called ‘patriotism’ the ‘last refuge of the scoundrel’. I took the shot outside my local village post-office.]

Straya, or A Twinge of Last-Refuge-Patriotism while Browsing the Guinness Book of Records

This is the country of the Toowoomba two ton
lamington, forty seven people on a surfboard,
two hundred thousand camels eating up
the outback like an Afghan War. This is

the country housing the widest tongue on earth
not giving unimaginable pleasure to anyone
on either side of the world’s widest bridge hanging
up its iron-grey coat over the deepest harbour

festooned with white concrete sails squashing
orchestras & dancers into post-cubist cubicles
the size of Portaloos. This is the country
with the most paintballs caught blindfolded

in two minutes like Lord Shiva juggling universes
for fun & boredom, the most plates smashed
in thirty seconds like ditto when He’s had enough.
This is the country with the most marshmallows

eaten in a minute of eternal glory to the gods
of chunder & ditto for the four thousand seven
hundred & eighteen people proudly doing
the Aussie Crawl through a rainbow snake of pubs.

~ by Peter Lach-Newinsky on May 18, 2018.

One Response to “Straya”

  1. or in the good’l usa…how many can you stuff into a vw bug….or hotdogs down your craw…woo hoo…!
    ‘fun and boredom’ and patriotism…not lookin’ like a good mix…

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