Vale Tuli Kupferberg (1923-2010)

Beat poet, founding member of The Fugs band and life-long anarchist pacifist Tuli Kupferberg died last week. His poems and Fug songs express a lot of what was most vital about the radical zeitgeist of the 60s. Below his Poem and extracts from his 1001 Ways to beat the Draft (1966).



It was in Miami Beach

& sorta late at night

The coalful roar of the oldfolks

at the greyhound track

soared through the timid air

& there

right across our car

this grey greyhound came dashing up the street

hell bent for freedom and like as not

to stop until the sea

…or even later

she laughed,

slipping out of her white brassiere


from 1001 Ways to Beat the Draft


1. Grope J. Edgar Hoover in the silent halls of Congress.

2. Get thee to a nunnery.

3. Fly to the moon and refuse to come home.

4. Die.

5. Become Secretary of Defense.

8. Show a li’l tit.

9. Castrate yourself.

11. Start to menstruate. (Better red than dead.)

17. Replace your feet with wheels.

18. Rent a motel room with a ewe.

22. Get muscular dystrophy when you’re a kid.

23. Marry J. Edgar Hoover.

26. Marry your mother.

34. Marry Lassie.

37. Proclaim that Mao Tse-tung is the Living God.

38. Proclaim that you are the Living God.

40. Get elected Pope.

41. Get elected to the Supreme Soviet.

42. Get lost.

43. Shoot A for a month.

44. Grow seven toes on your head.

46. Make the world go away.

47. Wear pants made of jello.

48. Say you are a wounded veteran of the lutte des classes.

49. Solder your eyelids shut.

51. Declare war on Germany.

54. Organize your own army and advance on Washington.

56. Turn yellow.

60. Contract Parkinson’s disease.

65. Announce that you have become the bridegroom of the Virgin Mary.

67. Get your friends to crucify you.

69. Become a publisher of smut and filth.

83. Cut off your ears. In ancient times no animal was sacrificed unless it was a perfect specimen.

85. Grow a tail.

86. Learn to talk with your anus.

87. Become a graduate student in a subject vital to the national security, such as the epistemology of phenomenological methodology.  Achieve your degree only after fifteen years of 2-S.

91. Buy a slave and send him in your place.

98. Handcuff yourself to Lenin’s tomb.

101. Grow a long straggly beard with maggots crawling all over it.

106. Publish a satirical pamphlet purporting to advise young men how to beat the draft.

119. Contract tertiary syphilis.

121. Develop bleeding stigmata.

123. Conspire with a known homosexual in the Soviet embassy in Ankara.

125. Become chairman of the Committee to Legalize Marijuana.

126. Develop an otherworldly metaphysical system and live by its precepts.

127. Cut off your head.

129. Walk into the induction centre carrying an octopus.


~ by Peter Lach-Newinsky on July 16, 2010.

2 Responses to “Vale Tuli Kupferberg (1923-2010)”

  1. […] Vale Tuli Kupferberg (1923-2010) « memengineering […]

  2. Damn, that sound’s so easy if you think about it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: